Letters from Quotidia Hologram 4

Welcome to Letters from Quotidia: Hologram 4. In previous posts I have dealt with some of the factors that prevent me from putting anything of worth down on the page: writers block, imposter syndrome and ennui to itemise the top three. In the depths of my mind, a small, shrill voice shrieks imposter frequently enough!

Ennui a.k.a boredom, a.k.a lethargy or just plain laziness, applies the brakes to creative output with monotonous regularity. But topping the charts is writers block. In a previous letter I characterised this affliction as a corpulent brute of a wrestler, a bully and coarsened version of myself who taunted me to get into the ring where he threatened to grind my face in a huge, glistening globule of mucus that he had spat contemptuously there when he saw me approaching.

Of course, I always seek for a way to avoid this glowering menace head on, and so now shall I retreat into considering what it is that impels us to create? I think the concept of the Muses is a good place to start. According to Greek Reporter.com they began their lives as nymphs that manifested as whispers in the ears of those who invoked them. The ancient writer Hesiod called them…the nine muses: Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Thalia, Terpsichore, and Urania.

Calliope is the oldest of the Muses and nicknamed the one with the beautiful voice since she taught Achilles how to sing. Clio is the Muse of history and is also credited as the creator of the guitar. Erato is the Muse of poetry, particularly romantic poetry. Euterpe is the Muse of music. Melpomene is one of the two Muses of the theatre, and she is the Muse of tragedy. Thalia is the other Muse of the theatre, and she is represented with a mocking smile. She is the Muse of comedy and poetry that evokes the natural world. Polyhymnia is the Muse of lyric poetry and dance. Terpsichore is the Muse of light verse and also dance and is the mother of the Sirens who, with their singing, lure sailors to their doom. Urania, the youngest of the nine is the Muse of astronomy, astrology and also mathematics.

All of these Muses I have invoked along the way, and they inspired me to take another path. So, disdaining to climb into the ring to be humiliated by the hulking brute waiting there for me, I sat at my electronic keyboard hoping that by setting down my guitar, my usual compositional aid, I would find a way forward. Lines from an astringent Denise Levertov poem, Goodbye to Tolerance, may serve to cleanse the palette before I begin,

Genial poets, pink-faced/ earnest wits—/ you have given the world/ some choice morsels,/gobbets of language presented/as one presents T-bone steak/and Cherries Jubilee. /  Goodbye, goodbye,/I don’t care/ if I never taste your fine food again, / neutral fellows, seers of every side… a gulf has split/the ground between us,/and you won’t wave, you’re looking/another way./We shan’t meet again—/unless you leap it, leaving/   behind you the cherished/   worms of your dispassion,/   your pallid ironies,/your jovial, murderous,/   wry-humoured balanced judgment,/leap over, un-/balanced?…/then/how our fanatic tears/would flow and mingle/ for joy … [insert song]

In the song, I imagine one or other of the Muses in a dance with me as I try to create a song or poem or even a lowly post. I so much prefer the idea of one of the lovely Muses abandoning me on the dance floor to that ogre that waits impatiently to body slam me in the wrestling ring. Anyway, I am indebted to whatever forces or entities there are out there that allow me to create something that, I maintain, would be impossible by dint of my endeavours alone.

I am not like those self-made people (usually but not only men) who take full credit for their success, owing no one on earth or elsewhere any part of their accomplishments. The Greeks, as always, have a word for it- hubris.  Examples abound throughout the history of humankind and- shame on us- aren’t we gleeful when we witness the crashing collapse of those people who hold themselves above the common herd and crow about their magnificence.

The Christian tradition also has examples of hubris: have a look at Gustave Dore’s depiction of the fall of Lucifer into Satan from John Milton’s Paradise Lost. If we read the parable of the two houses, one built on rock, the other sand from Matthew there, too, we find the results of hubris. And I don’t have to look far here in NSW where some property owners on the coast are learning to their cost the price of building ocean-view mansions on sand dunes as coastal erosion fuelled by climate change turns their beach-side paradises into hell.

So, these contemporary news accounts I have used as a modern setting of the parable of the house built on rock and the house built on sand. For the chorus of the song, I am indebted to these lines from the King James Version of Matthew: Chapter 7 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. Perhaps the Spirit moved me to write the concluding song, And It Fell. Whatever the case may be, I am truly thankful for wherever source that inspiration came. [insert song] Until next we meet in Quotidia,  be thankful for the good things in life, take care, stay safe and be well.

Once a Pair of Swans (words and music Quentin Bega)

Intro:Cmaj7 A7aug Dm7 G13b9 Verse: C Em F G7 Middle 8: Am Em G G7

I have been waiting for you to come back

There is something I need to say to you

Is there a reason why you won’t look me

In the eye whenever we pass by

Your smile is frozen to your stiff face

As though fixed there by icy paint

Your words consist of empty trite phrases

Lacking emotion meaningless

Once a pair of swans we glided out across the floor

Laughing, pirouetting, like the dance would never end

But something made us stumble something made us fall

Apart with nothing to say

Now as I sit here at this piano

Broken pencils scattered all about

Manuscript paper stained crumpled and shredded

Lies in drifts all around my feet

The rhythms are splintered the rhymes are so clunky

Why should I go on going on

Blank eyed and weary and almost teary

Just waiting for the dam to break

Once a pair of swans we glided out across the floor

Laughing, pirouetting, like the dance would never ever end

But something made us stumble something made us fall

Apart with nothing to say, nothing today

And It Fell (words and music by Quentin Bega)

Intro: C2 G7sus Cmaj7 Chorus: Am Em C G F Verse Dm C G

The rain came down, and the flood rose up

The wind blew hard and beat upon the house

The rain came down, and the flood rose up

The wind blew hard and beat upon the house

And it fell, and it fell and it fell and it fell

And great was the fall of it

Welcome neighbour I see that you have moved in next to me

Can I give you some advice don’t take it as a slight

I notice that you plan to build your house upon the dune

To take full advantage of those sweeping ocean views

But if you think about it some, in the longer run

You should set your house upon the rock as I have done

Although the sun shines bright today that won’t always be

Make provision for a change the you or I can’t see

Forget it buddy my forever mansion I’ll erect

Upon the dune and it will fetch millions more I expect

Than your low squat house that hugs this ugly rock

You mind your own business, buddy, and keep to your own block

The rain came down, and the flood rose up

The wind blew hard and beat upon the house

The rain came down, and the flood rose up

The wind blew hard and beat upon the house

And it fell, and it fell and it fell and it fell

And great was the fall of it

And it fell, and it fell and it fell and it fell

And great was the fall of it

And great was the fall of it

Credits: All written text, song lyrics andmusic (including background music) written and composed by Quentin Bega unless otherwise specified in the credits section after individual posts. Illustrative excerpts from other texts identified clearly within each podcast. I donate to and use Wikipedia frequently as one of the saner sources of information on the web.

Technical Stuff: Microphone-songs Shure SM58; (for the podcast spoken content) Audio Technica AT 2020 front-facing with pop filter); Apogee 76K also used for songs and spoken text. For recording and mixing down: 64-bit N-Track Studio 10 Extended used; Rubix 22 also used for mixing of microphone(s) and instruments. I use the Band in a Box/RealBand 2023 combo for music composition.